her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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