come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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