your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
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