By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
