So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize