You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
