is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
