the condom got lost in my hair
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
You are a genius and a whore.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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