yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
