Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
