Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
