You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Randomize
