I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
