I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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