Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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