need another drink. this is the easiest way
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
