that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
This toilet bowl is my home.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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