Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
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