how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
