So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
