sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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