My hair reeks of homosexuality.
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
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