I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Randomize
