Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
