Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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