doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
