Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
