We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
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