Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Randomize
