im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Randomize
