I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
