today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Randomize
