whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
