return my video game
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
tonight lets celebrate not being married
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Randomize
