come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
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