honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Randomize
