Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
