is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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