Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize
