whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
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