I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
