That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Randomize
