The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
