The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Boobs are out for the taking
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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