i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Randomize