My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
