I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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