: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
We're too hungover to prance.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Randomize
