I bet he comes in French.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Randomize
