hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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