The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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