I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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