I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
