This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Randomize