her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Randomize
