U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Randomize
